The Year of My Fall

As you may know, one of my latest projects is the St. Sinner Orchestra. We’ve recorded an album, So Far from Home, and have two more in the works. One of the songs slated for the upcoming album, Synonyms for Goodbye, is “The Year of My Fall.” St. Sinner has been playing this regularly at our shows, and it’s one of our favorites. Above is a rehearsal recording. If you want to hear it live, come to Fuller Ave Church’s Neighborhood Nights tomorrow (8/6/19 @ 6pm) to hear St. Sinner perform it live.

1. I was born too soon.
It was all brand new.
I’ve had to make it up as I go.
But I found my way
and I found my place
and I found some joy in it all.

I was born again;
don’t know exactly when,
but I know my heart was strangely warmed.
Lived a life of grace—
at least it felt that way—
But then the whole damn thing came crashing down to the ground.

Did Satan ask the Lord to sift my soul?
Take everything away from me, like Job?
I’m not one to question God, but I liked how things were before…
the year of my fall.
The year of my fall.

2. I remember how
I thought I had it all.
Maybe I did, but now I’ll never know.
Lightning struck me twice,
Then it became my life.
Who I was before, I can barely recall.

Cradling my head in empty hands;
the facts are clear, but I still don’t understand
how I had so much, but somehow managed to lose it all…
in the year of my fall.
The year of my fall.

3. In a twist of fate,
I would die too late
to be spared the pain of it all.
I do what I can
with the days I have
and try not to dwell on what’s lost.

Where the river runs nobody knows.
The current sweeps us on in its blind force.
There’s no going back; there’s only hope I’ll survive at all…
the year of my fall.
The year of my fall.

Does fate or grace or karma guide me now?
Or is it just dumb luck and nothing more?
I’m praying for some mercy in the years that lie beyond.
I’m pleading for some mercy in the years that lie beyond.
I’m begging for some mercy in the years that lie beyond…
the year of my fall.
the year of my fall.
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