The Musical Diary of Greg Scheer

Sometimes a great title is just too good to resist.* In this case, my wife and I drove past a billboard that mentioned Stollen, the German answer to fruitcake, and I immediately knew I was destined to compose a jazz Christmas song entitled, “Stollen Moments.”

This destiny was fulfilled a few days later when I produced this song. Like “Stolen Moments,” the jazz standard to which it pays tribute, my song begins with a four-chord riff. (But my song is in C major, rather than C minor–Christmas is supposed to be a happy time!)

A further confirmation that I was destined to write “Stollen Moments” was a shopping trip to Aldi on a recent vacation in Freiburg, Germany. As you can see in this picture, I encountered genuine German Stollen, sold in the days leading up to Christmas. Those luscious little loaves fairly cried out to me, “Compose us a theme song!”

Oh, the house is quiet, all the kids in bed,
wondering what the morn may bring.
So we’re cuddled here, eating Santa’s snack
in the glow of the Christmas tree.

The only gift on my Christmas list,
the only present that I need
are these times with you– they’re my wish come true
and my only Christmas dream.

All these Stollen moments with you
make my Christmas dreams come true.
Every season is grand, you and me, hand in hand.
Oh, how I love these Stollen moments with you.

_{*See, for example, “Night and DayQuil.”}

A few weeks ago I had a cold that kept me down for nearly two weeks. It was so bad that I even canceled a gig! I never cancel a gig.

I was downing DayQuil and NyQuil faster than a drunk doing shots on payday. At some point, an idea broke through the fog: “‘Night and DayQuil’ would make a great song title.” Of course, this is a play on Cole Porter’s classic song, “Night and Day.”

Once I had the title, all I had to do was write the song. So I put on my work pajamas and sat down at the piano to write. If you listen closely you will hear faint echoes of Cole Porter’s tune, but mostly it’s its own thing.

A few things I especially like: The rising fourths at the beginning of the tune are bold and create an instantly recognizable musical fingerprint, but don’t sound overly pedantic. Throughout the whole song, the melody floats above the harmony like oil on water; it makes total sense to the ear, but I would pity the freshman theory student who had to figure out how the melody relates to the harmony! Most importantly, it worked. A jazz tune can be a great and interesting tune, but just not feel natural when you improvise over the changes. When we played this Thursday night, it felt like an old friend.

One friend describes me thusly: “Not as funny as he thinks he is.” Perhaps. But I totally crack myself up. The latest iteration of “Greg Scheer, comedian for an audience of one,” is the name of my latest jazz tune: “Don’t Take Me for Grant, Ed.”

You see, Thursday night’s gig was with new-to-me violinist, Grant Flick. I wrote him a jaunty tune that felt like something Stéphane Grappelli would play. As I tried to come up with a title, I thought it would a nice touch to make it a word play on the name Grant. Voilá! “Don’t Take Me for Grant, Ed.”

Having told the spine tingling story of the song’s name, let me tell you the nail-biting tale the music itself. When we premiered the song Thursday night, it was clear that the song was not quite right. Yes, the bold downward movement of the first two chords (Bb, A7) quickly captures the ear. And the melody is positively fetching. (If I don’t say so myself.) But when we took turns improvising on the form it was confusing. Muddy. Indecisive.

I had another gig the next evening, so I spent some time that day streamlining the song–mercilessly hacking away anything that hindered the song’s flow. The result was the same song, but in a more nimble iteration that fairly skipped through the venue!

Last night’s new tune is a vibey, vampy tune that’s great for improvising.

That’s the thing about jazz: it’s not just about writing a catchy tune; a jazz tune is also a launching pad for soloing. You can have a great song that just doesn’t feel right for improvisation. It needs to have enough interest to catch the listener’s attention, but be simple enough that the performers can feel comfortable soloing over the changes. But not too simple! Then it gets boring. Clearly, there’s a balance that needs to be struck.

“Mysterious Lee” is halfway between Wayne Shorter’s “Footprints” and ” Gershwin’s “Summertime.” It has the former’s prominent opening bass line and the latter’s mid-song lift and ii7-5 V7 turnaround. I don’t think we ever got the actual melody right in this recording, but you can hear that everyone dug into their solos with gusto.

Just for fun, I left a little of the musician’s prattle in the recording. Yes, these gigs are work, but we also have an awful lot of fun!

Spinal Tap’s song “Big Bottom” is a classic. And classy. But as a bass player, I feel the world needs more songs featuring the bass, not less. Enter “Big Bottom Blues.”

Similar to Miles Davis’ iconic “So What,” the bass takes a lead role in “Big Bottom Blues.” After the bassist has had their moment to shine, the song continues as a minor jazz blues.

This was recorded at the warm-up for a gig last week. We were still working out the kinks, but it gives you an idea of what the song is about. This quick run-through captured on my iPhone will have to suffice until a later date when a definitive recording is released.

Today’s jazz offering is “Slowly.” It is a song about approaching a new relationship cautiously after being hurt in love. Of course, what do I have to say on this subject that hasn’t been said more eloquently and succinctly by the bards of Great White?: “My, my, my, I’m once bitten twice shy baby.” (Actually, I just listened to Great White’s song again. It’s horrible.)

The recording was rendered almost unusable by background noise. For some reason, everyone in the bar came over to talk to us during the few minutes that the new song premiered. I should have discarded the recording entirely, except part of the background noise is the restaurant owner saying “This is perfection!” and comparing it to “Days of Wine and Roses.”

Some day I’ll record this song with a first-rate crooner and full orchestra. Until then, the Scheer Bliss Trio at Euro Bistro will have to suffice.

In honor of my birthday*: a song about getting older and slower.

The song is something of a musical pun. One of the standard song forms in jazz is “Rhythm Changes.” This form uses the chords from Gershwin’s “I’ve Got Rhythm” as a starting point, then builds new melodies on top of this basic harmonic structure. Charlie Parker was especially famous for this form of musical contrafact, with rhythm change songs such as “Anthropology,” “Dexterity,” and “Moose the Mooche.”

As I’ve learned various rhythm changes songs, I find myself wondering, “Why are these so dang fast? I’m too old for this!” Thus was born the idea of a lethargic rhythm change song suitable for jazz musicians who are getting old and slow. Indeed, the lyrical theme is also about getting older and slower–and being content as these slow changes occur.

Though the song is somewhat tongue-in-cheek, the lyrics touch on deeper issues of the life cycle and were inspired in part by Joan Chittister’s book, The Gif of Years: Growing Older Gracefully.

_{*October 5. Gifts will be accepted annually throughout the entire month of October.}