Coffee Talking

What the world needs right now is another song about coffee.

This song idea has been floating around forever in my head and little scraps of paper. It started as only a phrase: “It’s just the coffee talking.” Then last year I decided it would be funny for the words of a song about coffee to get faster and more incoherent as the song progressed. A few months ago I came up with the scenario of a man who’s painfully shy around his love interest until he’s fully caffeinated. (Kind of like Brad Paisley’s “Alcohol,” but for coffee shop nerds.) This week I tied up all the loose ends and present to you “Coffee Talking.”

1. When I see you,
what can I do?

2. When I see that you are near me,
my mouth goes dry, I stare at my feet.

Caffeine’s what I need.
It’ll be my black bolt of courage
In my time of need.
With my head full of steam,
next time I see you walking
It’ll be the coffee talking in me.

3. Suddenly I’m not so scared, I’m optimistically preparing.
(It’s just the coffee talking.)
I’m filled with confidence, you say to me, “Nice day,” and I say, “Very!”
(It’s just the coffee talking.)
Well, I’m on a roll, try something new: I pat your dog, say “He’s so cute.”
(It’s just the coffee talking.)
Seems to work, I turn to you, I pat your head and say, “You are cute, too!”
(It’s just the coffee talking.)


4. Euphoria is filling me just like I hoped it would
and I have never felt so good and I have never been so free.
(It’s just the coffee talking.)
My mouth has taken on a mind that’s all its own, my tongue’s untied,
My lungs fill up with air for good or ill I start to speak:
(It’s just the coffee talking.)
“Hey, would you go out with me? I think about it all the time—
but not like that—I hope I didn’t come across as sounding super creepy.
(It’s just the coffee talking.)
But I could see the two of us fall head and heels in love and get
engaged and married, make some babies, maybe start with dinner and a movie.”
(It’s just the coffee talking.)


Hey, I’m sorry. (It was just the coffee talking.)
Please don’t worry. (It was just the coffee talking.)
That’s not like me. (It was just the coffee talking.)
It’s just the coffee. (It was just the coffee talking.)


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