I’m going to be vulnerable and let you hear a song I’ve had rattling around in my brain for a while. You might assume that a person who has composed over 100 Psalm settings and has dozens of songs in hymnals would be a person of bullet-proof faith. The sad fact is that I, too, have my seasons of doubt.
The full title of this song is “Maybe (Hymn for a Reconstructing Friend).” There’s been a lot of talk about people “deconstructing” faith, often decried by those who claim it’s heresy to mature beyond the simplicity of Sunday School faith. I think it’s better to talk about “reconstructing” faith. But first, you have to lament the doubt that comes before rebuilding.
- I wish I had more faith in faith,
but of late it’s hard believing.
It’s not like it was in simpler days
when the answer was always “Jesus.”
But now life’s gotten so complex
and I keep looking for some answers.
But the answers never seem to fit,
except, I guess, for “maybe.”
Maybe simple answers aren’t enough.
Maybe a hallelujah is too much.
Maybe honest doubt is my song of love.
- Oh, the devil was a wily snake
when he offered Eve the apple.
Were she and Adam wrong to want a taste
of the fruit of truth and wisdom?
And is it really such a sin
to be curious and naked?
Do we have to run and hide again,
as if being human’s shameful?
Maybe simple answers aren’t enough.
Maybe a hallelujah is too much.
If I knew the tune, I would sing along.
- I would love to hear that still, small voice
cutting through the constant chatter.
Have I grown deaf or has God gone hoarse?
I’m still listening for an answer.
What once enflamed my eager heart
no longer seems to move me.
Oh, I’d give everything I’ve got
to simply have some feeling.
Maybe simple answers aren’t enough.
Maybe a hallelujah is too much.
I can only sing the song I know.