Category: Quirky

Categories
Jazz Quirky

Chippy

Last week I wrote bright, breezy jazz tune that I immediately named “Chippy” for its upbeat, chipper character. As I revised it throughout the week, I had the humorous idea of adding lyrics with as many iterations of the word chip as possible.

We played it live Thursday night, but it didn’t go particularly well. Plus, I needed to make some revisions. (I used Occam’s razor to cut out the fat.) After revising it I decided that a recording of just bass and voice might be nice.

Interestingly, I had no idea that “Chippy” is an actual word meaning a fish and chip shop, a person who is cranky and defensive, a prostitute, a carpenter, an aggressive hockey player, or a habit or addiction. It is also a computer game, a brand of chips, an Indian actress, and a rapper (Chippy Nonstop). Who knew?

Maybe I should cash in my chips.
When the chips are down, just give in.
What I need’s a bargaining chip,
computer chip,
maybe some fish and chips.

I am just a chip off the old block.
The chips may be down, but I’m not!
I will just keep chipping away,
chips fall where they may:
I’m feeling chipper today!

Categories
Quirky Rock and/or Roll

Coffee Talking

What the world needs right now is another song about coffee.

This song idea has been floating around forever in my head and little scraps of paper. It started as only a phrase: “It’s just the coffee talking.” Then last year I decided it would be funny for the words of a song about coffee to get faster and more incoherent as the song progressed. A few months ago I came up with the scenario of a man who’s painfully shy around his love interest until he’s fully caffeinated. (Kind of like Brad Paisley’s “Alcohol,” but for coffee shop nerds.) This week I tied up all the loose ends and present to you “Coffee Talking.”

1. When I see you,
what can I do?

2. When I see that you are near me,
my mouth goes dry, I stare at my feet.

Caffeine’s what I need.
It’ll be my black bolt of courage
In my time of need.
With my head full of steam,
next time I see you walking
It’ll be the coffee talking in me.

3. Suddenly I’m not so scared, I’m optimistically preparing.
(It’s just the coffee talking.)
I’m filled with confidence, you say to me, “Nice day,” and I say, “Very!”
(It’s just the coffee talking.)
Well, I’m on a roll, try something new: I pat your dog, say “He’s so cute.”
(It’s just the coffee talking.)
Seems to work, I turn to you, I pat your head and say, “You are cute, too!”
(It’s just the coffee talking.)

CHORUS

4. Euphoria is filling me just like I hoped it would
and I have never felt so good and I have never been so free.
(It’s just the coffee talking.)
My mouth has taken on a mind that’s all its own, my tongue’s untied,
My lungs fill up with air for good or ill I start to speak:
(It’s just the coffee talking.)
“Hey, would you go out with me? I think about it all the time—
but not like that—I hope I didn’t come across as sounding super creepy.
(It’s just the coffee talking.)
But I could see the two of us fall head and heels in love and get
engaged and married, make some babies, maybe start with dinner and a movie.”
(It’s just the coffee talking.)

CHORUS

Hey, I’m sorry. (It was just the coffee talking.)
Please don’t worry. (It was just the coffee talking.)
That’s not like me. (It was just the coffee talking.)
It’s just the coffee. (It was just the coffee talking.)

CHORUS

Categories
Live Quirky

Staying Home

An ode to sheltering in place during pandemics. Performed by Greg, Simon, and Theo Scheer.

Want to play along? (You know you do!) Download the chordsheet here: https://musicblog.gregscheer.com/wp-content/uploads/staying_home.pdf

1. You can kiss anyone that you want to kiss,
Lick anyone that you want to lick.
You can visit anyone that you really miss,
But me, I’m staying home.

You can go anywhere you want to go
You can shake some hands and stand real close
You can hug everybody that you’ve ever known
But me, I’m staying home.

I’m staying home
You could go out, but I don’t advise it.
I’m staying home.
Me, I’m staying home.

I’m staying home,
The best way to fight a virus
Is staying home.
Me, I’m staying home. (We/Everybody must )

2. You can fight the law, you can fight the man
You can go to the bathroom and not wash your hands
You can touch your eyeballs again and again
And that’s why I’m staying home.

You can be just as stupid as you want to be
You can claim it’s all a conspiracy
But if you die don’t you come crying to me
Cause I am staying home.

Categories
Church Congregational Songs Demos Quirky

I’ve Got Joy!

This Sunday at Fuller Ave, Nate was preaching from 2 Corinthians 13:11: “Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice!” The service was all about joy, so we decided the praise set should be a rambunctious Sunday School Singalong.

A scene of pure joy from my favorite boys.

On a long bike ride the day before the service I got to singing a little ditty inspired by NRBQ’s “Down in My Heart.” Nothing deep, just a tune full of joy. I was enjoying it so much that I stopped on the side of the road and sang it into my cellphone just in case I forgot it!

The next day I introduced it to the congregation. It fit beautifully alongside “This Is the Day,” “Rejoice in the Lord Always,” and “I’ve Got the Joy, Joy, Joy (Down in My Heart).”

Categories
Choir Demos Hymn tunes Quirky

A New Year’s Carol

A New Year’s Carol

As the year draws to a close, one has to take stock and observe, “That sucked.” Yes, 2018 was about the worst year since 7th grade. Worst. Year. Ever.

The good news? It can only go up from here. To commemorate the enormous sinkhole that was 2018 and the great hopes for a brighter future, I’ve written “A New Year’s Carol.” On the surface it may sound a little bleak to sing “it’s been a terrible year,” but there is hope embedded in the music of this carol. You see, the key rises a whole step with each repeat of the carol. Crazy, huh? You want to really geek out? I double all the tracks at the octave so that I could create Shepard Tones–the effect that the song continuously rises without actually going out of range. (Although I’m singing nearly four octaves all told.)

By all accounts it’s been a terrible year.
As the days dragged into months,
there was little to cheer.
Sing “Oo la loo ley!”
when there’s nothing to say.
Sing “Oo la ley loo!”
for what else can you do?
But next year cannot be worse,
so it’s all up from here!

You want to sing along? Here’s the music: PDF.
You want to hear the Shepard Tones more clearly? Here’s an instrumental MP3.

Categories
Church Congregational Songs Hymn tunes Quirky

A Christian’s Duty

When one of the members of the St. Sinner Orchestra went to the hospital with a bowel obstruction, I knew just the song to cheer him up: Blest Is the Man Whose Bowels Move.

I wrote a tune (“A CHRISTIAN’S DUTY) a few years ago to accompany Isaac Watt’s classic text, but didn’t have a good recording of it until now. You’re welcome.

You can read the story and see the sheet music here.

Categories
Quirky

A Conference Call with Myself

I was scheduled for a conference call at 1pm today. I followed the link on my computer and waited until start time. As it got closer to 1pm, I noticed I was the only participant. Hmmm… So I followed the instructions for a phone connection to the group call. Now I and I were the only participants–one me on a phone and one me on the computer. Naturally, I greeted myself and exchanged pleasantries as I waited for the meeting to begin.

It soon became clear that I had the wrong time in my calendar. But never one to waste an opportunity, I began to play with the feedback loop created by turning up the audio on both my computer and phone.

Categories
Demos Quirky Rock and/or Roll

That’s When Lonely Begins

Sometimes you just have to go with it, you know? A phrase popped into my head mid-afternoon: “That’s when lonely begins.” It was a title in search of a country song. Five hours later it’s written, recorded, and posted to my blog for your enjoyment. Maybe playing bass with the Malpass Brothers a few months ago rubbed off on me…

1. When I wait for your “hello”
when I’m coming through the door,
and the only thing I hear
is the echo of these walls.
When this loveseat made for two
becomes a bed for one—
That’s when lonely begins.

2. When I head out on the town
‘cause I’m tired of staying in.
When I’m looking through the crowd
but only see your friends.
When I know you’re not around
because you’re loving him—
That’s when lonely begins.

That’s when I know it’s over.
That’s when I’m sure that it’s the end.
I know the tears that fill my eyes
will be there tomorrow night;
That’s when it starts again.

3. When the radio is all
the friend I’ve got tonight.
When I’m lying in half the bed
‘cause it’s always been my side.
When I’m praying for some sleep,
but have no hope in sight—
That’s when lonely begins.

Categories
Demos Quirky Rock and/or Roll

Two Christmases

The final song in my Christmas triumvirate is not a church song at all.

As I was working on Christmas songs for worship during March’s songwriting retreat, I began thinking about how unsettling it must be for my boys to split their time between two homes during Christmas. While I’d like them to have a Hallmark holiday, life doesn’t provide many picture-perfect moments. Instead, the good and the bad are mixed together in this heart-wrenchingly glorious thing we call human existence.

I decided to try to express these conflicted holiday emotions in a Christmas pop song. It’s written from a kid’s point of view–being caught between two families on Christmas–but I think it touches on emotions we all feel: the exhausting hustle to make it to every Christmas party or visit every side of the family each year, and the ambivalence we feel when everything is so manically cheerful all around us.

Someday I’ll write a Christmas song that has no hint of sadness in it. Until then, I offer you, “Two Christmases.”

1. We’re having two Christmases this year.
We’re having two Christmases this year.
We’ll have two times the presents
and two times the food;
too much of a good thing
seems like it should be good…

We’re having two Christmases this year.
We’re having two Christmases this year.
There will be two Christmas dinners
and two Christmas trees,
but once in a while, I miss
the way things used to be.

We’re having two Christmases this year.

2. We’re having two Christmases this year.
We’re having two Christmases this year.
Now there’s two sets of parents
and two different homes;
and everyone keeps telling me,q
“The greatest gift is love!”

We’re having two Christmases this year.
We’re having two Christmases this year.
Dad’s back from his honeymoon
and Mom has a new beau,
And I’m starting to hate
the sight of mistletoe.

We’re having two Christmases this year.

3. We’re having two Christmases this year.
We’re having one too many Christmases this year.
After spending the whole day
With the kids of Dad’s new bride,
all I want for Christmas
is a silent night.

We’re having two Christmases this year.
We’re having way too many Christmases this year.
Everybody else seems to be
in the Christmas spirit.
Maybe I’ll feel happier
by New Year’s Eve.

We’re having two Christmases this year.

Categories
Art Music Demos Quirky

The Parade of Food

How many school orchestra concerts have I attended since my children began playing bass and cello? Many. And while it is mostly inspiring to hear children create music together, there are certainly times when I hear one of their pieces and I think, “I could have written something better than that.”

So now I’m putting my money where my mouth is, with my very first educational orchestra composition. My kids always complain about alliterating titles on pirate themes (“Swashbuckler Serenade,” “Pirate Prelude”), so I decided to take a completely different tack: The Parade of Food. With the approval of my children, I began writing. It started as a short piece with a simple melody that was given to each section. But then I decided to write another movement consisting entirely of funny or rhythmic food names. (Thank you, Facebook friends, for your help!) And if there are Hors d’Oeuvres and a Second Course, there needs to be Dessert, right? I ended with a bon bon of a third movement that brought back the original melody.

The MP3 is above. The full score can be gotten by emailing and asking nicely. If you know anyone who directs or plays in a school orchestra, let me know. This thing is going to be a hit!

Turkey, and stuffing, mashed potatoes, and gravy.
Snickerdoodle, jam, pumpernickel, ham.
Guacamole, quesadilla.
Pork tacos, beef tacos, chicken tacos, fish tacos.
Bruschetta, pancetta, linguini, panini.
Tater tots and chocolate milk, breaded chicken fingers, breaded fish sticks.
Peanut butter and jelly, mozzarella sticks, corn dogs.
Baba ganoush, strawberry, raspberry,
liverwurst, wienerwurst, rutabaga, mashed potata,
korma, shwarma, roti prata, kimchi, kiwi, schnitzel,
chicken tikka masala, samosa, spaghetti, falafel and waffle soufflé.
I say “sweet potato”; you say “yam.” Let’s call the whole thing succotash.

The parade of food. Oh, it all looks good.
I’m afraid I’ll eat more than I should.
The parade of food. I’ll tell you the truth:
if I had two mouths to give, I probably would.
if I had two mouths to give, I would.
Glorious Parade of food!