The Musical Diary of Greg ScheerWhen the boys invented Rubberbandman, I didn’t have the heart to tell them he already had a theme song. A good one. So I just went ahead and invented a new one. Make sure to listen for Theo’s narration in the middle. He’s been working on his rhyming, and spontaneously came up with the ingenius, “He’s like an elastic waist/but without all those suntans/so clap your hands/for Rubberbandman.” That’s my boy!
In our last three days of Theophiles, we’ll finish with three new super hero theme songs.
Simon and Theo have been drawing lots of comic books lately. And what’s a comic book without a super hero? In this case, the super hero is named Fartman. His super power, of course, is releasing noxious fumes that fell evil doers. Yes, this counts as high humor for an eight year old.
Are you ready to faint from cuteness?
When Theo was three or so, I put him to bed and then about a half hour later I heard sounds coming from the room he shared with Simon. It’s not unusual for Simon to fall right asleep while Theo–our night owl–is up another hour thinking about whatever it is boys think about while they lay in bed. But on this particular night, there was a different sort of sound emanating from their room.
As I got closer to the bedroom, I heard a strange version of Jingle Bells. It seems Theo had learned the song (at least the first phrase) and was rehearsing it over and over with the gusto of a punk rock front man. I grabbed my pocket recorder to document the unfolding bed time concert. What you hear here is only a portion of the whole recording. Listen closely at the end, to how Theo responds when I finally walk into the room: Jingle Bells.
Simon, by the way, slept through the whole thing
How long, you wonder, has this bath time songwriting been going on?
This recording is from about three years ago, when Theo was five. For some reason he was saying the nonsense syllables “yisha boo” over and over again. I liked the way it sounded, so I added some chords. I think this has the potential to become the “We are the Champions” of this generation’s children. Join the movement! MP3.
The Scheers are an affirming lot. That’s why bath time produces no Barney-style “You’re special” mantras, but instead a song called “Who Is Dumb?” This may never win the Scheers a spot on the Disney Channel, but it has a certain allure for a certain kind of little person–Simon heard the song and joined right in. Maybe you should, too: Who Is Dumb, MP3
This summer, Simon and Theo would regularly drag chairs and a lemonade-style stand to the end of our driveway to hold a sale. It was never primarily about making money as much as holding an event. For example, one day their sign read “For sale: free paper airplanes.” Another day they sold chocolate filled marshmallows using the company name “The Diabetic Kid Candy Company.” They are destined to be rich like their father…
I try to help out the best I can by standing beside them juggling or playing my guitar. On the day they were selling origami I wrote a little song to draw in the crowds: It’s a Good Day for Origami, MP3
Heredity or environment? Nature versus nurture? Who cares when you end up with beat boxing as dope as this! Theo gets the party started and Greg Dad breaks it down.
Listen to MC G and Little T
and their feats of rhythmic dexterity.
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
As you can clearly hear in this MP3
Is art mostly inspiration or perspiration? In this case it was the latter. I had just gone jogging and commented “Man, I’m super sweaty.” It struck me what an unpleasant phrase this was, and how funny it would be as a hard rock ode to love. Indeed.
Listen toward the end when Theo says very matter of factly: “that doesn’t rhyme.” Everyone’s a critic.
Theo had just been reading a book of world records and strange facts, which he would quote randomly throughout his bath. This turned into a trippy blues song of random facts, though for the life of me I can’t figure out what the first verse says.
This Christmastide I am unveiling a series of songs done in collaboration with my son Theo. Hence the title “Theophiles.” (Kind of like Theophilus,” but could also sound like “Theo files.” Get it?) These recordings feature tunes that come primarily from bath time goofiness. I don’t remember how we started the tradition of bathtub creativity, but now it’s pretty much required that when Theo takes a bath I need to have my guitar at the ready. In fact, he was so excited to hear that his songs were going public, he wrote two more last night. He’s so prolific–and clean!
Let the juvenile jamboree begin: Freaky Boy