Category: Quirky

Categories
Demos Quirky Rock and/or Roll

Two Christmases

The final song in my Christmas triumvirate is not a church song at all.

As I was working on Christmas songs for worship during March’s songwriting retreat, I began thinking about how unsettling it must be for my boys to split their time between two homes during Christmas. While I’d like them to have a Hallmark holiday, life doesn’t provide many picture-perfect moments. Instead, the good and the bad are mixed together in this heart-wrenchingly glorious thing we call human existence.

I decided to try to express these conflicted holiday emotions in a Christmas pop song. It’s written from a kid’s point of view–being caught between two families on Christmas–but I think it touches on emotions we all feel: the exhausting hustle to make it to every Christmas party or visit every side of the family each year, and the ambivalence we feel when everything is so manically cheerful all around us.

Someday I’ll write a Christmas song that has no hint of sadness in it. Until then, I offer you, “Two Christmases.”

1. We’re having two Christmases this year.
We’re having two Christmases this year.
We’ll have two times the presents
and two times the food;
too much of a good thing
seems like it should be good…

We’re having two Christmases this year.
We’re having two Christmases this year.
There will be two Christmas dinners
and two Christmas trees,
but once in a while, I miss
the way things used to be.

We’re having two Christmases this year.

2. We’re having two Christmases this year.
We’re having two Christmases this year.
Now there’s two sets of parents
and two different homes;
and everyone keeps telling me,q
“The greatest gift is love!”

We’re having two Christmases this year.
We’re having two Christmases this year.
Dad’s back from his honeymoon
and Mom has a new beau,
And I’m starting to hate
the sight of mistletoe.

We’re having two Christmases this year.

3. We’re having two Christmases this year.
We’re having one too many Christmases this year.
After spending the whole day
With the kids of Dad’s new bride,
all I want for Christmas
is a silent night.

We’re having two Christmases this year.
We’re having way too many Christmases this year.
Everybody else seems to be
in the Christmas spirit.
Maybe I’ll feel happier
by New Year’s Eve.

We’re having two Christmases this year.

Categories
Art Music Demos Quirky

The Parade of Food

How many school orchestra concerts have I attended since my children began playing bass and cello? Many. And while it is mostly inspiring to hear children create music together, there are certainly times when I hear one of their pieces and I think, “I could have written something better than that.”

So now I’m putting my money where my mouth is, with my very first educational orchestra composition. My kids always complain about alliterating titles on pirate themes (“Swashbuckler Serenade,” “Pirate Prelude”), so I decided to take a completely different tack: The Parade of Food. With the approval of my children, I began writing. It started as a short piece with a simple melody that was given to each section. But then I decided to write another movement consisting entirely of funny or rhythmic food names. (Thank you, Facebook friends, for your help!) And if there are Hors d’Oeuvres and a Second Course, there needs to be Dessert, right? I ended with a bon bon of a third movement that brought back the original melody.

The MP3 is above. The full score can be gotten by emailing and asking nicely. If you know anyone who directs or plays in a school orchestra, let me know. This thing is going to be a hit!

Turkey, and stuffing, mashed potatoes, and gravy.
Snickerdoodle, jam, pumpernickel, ham.
Guacamole, quesadilla.
Pork tacos, beef tacos, chicken tacos, fish tacos.
Bruschetta, pancetta, linguini, panini.
Tater tots and chocolate milk, breaded chicken fingers, breaded fish sticks.
Peanut butter and jelly, mozzarella sticks, corn dogs.
Baba ganoush, strawberry, raspberry,
liverwurst, wienerwurst, rutabaga, mashed potata,
korma, shwarma, roti prata, kimchi, kiwi, schnitzel,
chicken tikka masala, samosa, spaghetti, falafel and waffle soufflé.
I say “sweet potato”; you say “yam.” Let’s call the whole thing succotash.

The parade of food. Oh, it all looks good.
I’m afraid I’ll eat more than I should.
The parade of food. I’ll tell you the truth:
if I had two mouths to give, I probably would.
if I had two mouths to give, I would.
Glorious Parade of food!

Categories
Jazz Live Quirky

Very Happy Birthday to You

At some point, I may become known as “the guy who writes birthday odes in which death is a dominant theme.” So be it. The sooner you grapple with your mortality, the sooner you can get out there and truly live!

This latest birthday ditty was written for my friend Ron Rienstra, who throws great birthday parties featuring free form jam sessions and ping pong tournaments. How could I resist throwing a lounge lizard birthday ballad into the mix?

You can hear it in the video below or read through it for yourself: PDF.

 

Categories
Quirky

Having Conquered Detroit

Last week, Theo and I journeyed to Detroit for the Inspire 2017 conference. After playing music for the conference worship services (me on bass, him on cello), eating Coney Island hot dogs, and visiting the creepily delightful Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum, we headed home. To keep me awake on the drive, he played his ukulele and we made up a song. It is not a work of genius, but it’s quite a pleasant little ditty. And frankly, what do you expect from two people driving down the highway at 10 pm?

Having conquered Detroit,
confidently we march on.
Malcontent, maladroit,
with rhymes and harmonies like a pond.

Who says that we’re idiots?
They will have to meet my furious fists.
Having conquered Detroit,
you are next on my list.

Categories
Demos Quirky

If You Use It, Put It Back

America’s favorite boy band is back!

The Scheer Boys (Simon on bass, Theo on cello, Greg on voice/guitar) have a new hit, and this one is for the kids. You know who you are. And you know that you drive your parents crazy by using things around the house and not returning them to their proper places. Maybe you cook something and then leave dirty dishes strewn all over the kitchen. Or you use your Dad’s phone and return it with a gallery of marmoset monkey pictures open. Or you use your father’s favorite composing pencils and eraser which seem like they would be just right for drawing a comic but then suddenly your father tries to write down a melodic idea and all he has are pencils with dull tips and no erasers. These are random examples.

Well, kids, this song is for you. It’s a little reminder that if you use something, you should put it back. It’s only right.

The Scheer Boys recorded the first verse–the heavy-handed, guilt-ridden verse sung from the exasperated, finger-wagging parent’s point of view. We’d be very pleased if children all over the world recorded the second verse–sung from the dutiful if somewhat dreary child’s point of view. Here’s the music: PDF. Get to work, kids!

Categories
Contests Demos Quirky

Run with the Pack!

While I have vowed to enter no more contests, I still have a Google alert set for “song contest.” A few days ago, it alerted me about a new high school in Utah that was in need of a school song. How could I say No to one, teensy-weensy song for a school in need?

The announcement read:

Green Canyon High School, opening in North Logan next year, is excited to announce a community contest to write a school song that will capture the spirit of the students and community that we will serve. We are looking for a song that is catchy, warm-hearted, dignified, timeless, and appealing to a wide audience. The text should convey the values of our school and community, including the idea of a wolf pack–we are stronger together, and the values of knowledge, friendship, and service. The song should consist of one verse and one chorus and be written for voices and piano. 4 part hymn style is also appropriate.

Here is what I hope will be Green Canyon High School’s new school anthem: PDF

 

Categories
Demos electronic Quirky Rock and/or Roll

Keep Your Nose to the Grindstone

As followers of this blog know, I am no stranger to ridiculous ideas. Indeed, I am willing to chase a ridiculous idea to extraordinary lengths.

This is one such idea.

When work begins to pile up, I either remind myself of the old adage: Q: How do you eat an elephant? A: One bite at a time. Or I begin to hum a little tune with the words, “Keep your nose to the grindstone.” When my friend, Julie, told me she was “just keeping her nose to the grindstone,” how could I resist providing an inspirational soundtrack for her work?

 

Categories
Adopt-a-Psalm, 2017 Church Congregational Songs Demos FAWM 2017 Psalms Quirky

Psalm 4, the ridiculous outtake

Things get a little weird when you’re recording with two teenagers. (Okay, and with me.)

Categories
FAWM 2017 Jazz Quirky

My One and Only Valentine

What would Valentine’s Day be without songs of loneliness, delusion, and self-love?

Won’t you be my Valentine?
I’m so lonely all the time.
You’re not perfect,
but neither am I.

Won’t you be my Valentine?
You’re a man, but I don’t mind.
I just need
someone by my side.

Someone who understands
each crazy thought in my head
and this love in my heart so real.

Someone who will never leave;
forever in love, so deep.
My one and only Valentine
is me.

Categories
FAWM 2017 Quirky

Liar, Liar

My first draft of Psalm 12 was, ummm, not quite as subtle as the finished product. I saw that the Psalm was an attack on liars; I took the most direct musical route…